Mastering the French Cheek Kiss: A Greeting Guide

The French cheek kiss, known as "la bise," is a cornerstone of French social interactions. This guide will help you understand and navigate this distinctive greeting custom.

What is La Bise?

La bise is a greeting where people lightly kiss each other on the cheeks. It's not a real kiss, but rather a touching of cheeks while making a kissing sound.

The Number Game: How Many Kisses?

The number of kisses varies by region:

• One kiss: Rare, but occurs in some parts of Brittany
• Two kisses: Paris and most of northern and western France
• Three kisses: Southeastern France, including Provence
• Four kisses: Parts of eastern France, like Lorraine and Vosges

When to Use La Bise

La bise is appropriate in various situations:

1. Greeting friends and family
2. Meeting someone for the first time (in social settings)
3. Saying goodbye
4. Congratulating someone
5. Wishing someone a happy birthday or holiday

La Bise Etiquette

Follow these guidelines to execute la bise correctly:

1. Start with the right cheek
2. Lightly touch cheeks, don't actually kiss
3. Make a subtle kissing sound
4. Move to the left cheek for the second kiss
5. Hold the other person's shoulder or upper arm lightly
6. Maintain a respectful distance

Regional Variations

Different regions have unique customs:

1. Montpellier: Three kisses, starting with the left cheek
2. Corsica: Often five kisses
3. Nantes: Four kisses, alternating cheeks
4. Lyon: Often three or four kisses
5. Avignon: Two or three kisses, depending on the relationship

La Bise in Professional Settings

In business contexts:

1. Shake hands when first meeting someone
2. La bise may be appropriate after developing a friendly relationship
3. Follow the lead of your French colleagues
4. Be aware that some prefer to maintain professional distance

The History of La Bise

La bise has evolved over time:

1. Ancient Roman greeting among equals
2. Medieval European custom among nobles
3. Popularized in France during the French Revolution
4. Became widespread in the 20th century
5. Briefly paused during the COVID-19 pandemic

Cultural Significance

La bise holds importance in French culture:

1. Reinforces social bonds
2. Demonstrates affection and friendship
3. Reflects egalitarian values
4. Serves as a social ice-breaker
5. Distinguishes between formal and informal relationships

La Bise for Foreigners

If you're not French:

1. Don't be surprised if someone initiates la bise
2. It's okay to explain you're not comfortable with it
3. Observe locals to understand regional customs
4. Practice with friends to gain confidence
5. Remember it's a normal part of French culture

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Steer clear of these faux pas:

1. Actually kissing the person's cheek
2. Using your lips instead of your cheeks
3. Making loud kissing noises
4. Turning the wrong way and bumping noses
5. Refusing la bise when it's offered (unless for personal reasons)

La Bise During Special Occasions

The custom may change for holidays or events:

1. New Year's Eve: Extended bise sessions with everyone present
2. Birthdays: Often accompanied by "Bon anniversaire!"
3. Weddings: Expect to greet many people with la bise
4. Family gatherings: A must for all relatives
5. National holidays: Often combined with "Bonne fête!"

Practice Exercise

Scenario: You're at a French dinner party. How would you greet:

1. The host (a close friend)
2. The host's spouse (whom you're meeting for the first time)
3. An elderly guest
4. A child
5. A business acquaintance also attending the party

(Answers at the end of the article)

La Bise in Popular Culture

La bise appears frequently in French media:

1. Films often use la bise to establish characters' relationships
2. Television shows depict la bise as a normal part of daily life
3. Comedians sometimes joke about regional differences in la bise
4. Fashion magazines discuss la bise etiquette
5. Social media influencers share la bise experiences

The Future of La Bise

The custom continues to evolve:

1. Some young people prefer fist bumps or hugs
2. Health concerns may influence its practice
3. Gender equality discussions impact la bise in professional settings
4. Regional differences may become less pronounced
5. The tradition remains strong despite changes

Understanding la bise is key to navigating French social customs. With practice and observation, you'll soon feel comfortable participating in this unique greeting tradition.

Exercise Answers:

1. Host: Two to four kisses, depending on your relationship and region
2. Host's spouse: Two kisses, as it's a first meeting in a social setting
3. Elderly guest: Two kisses, showing respect
4. Child: A wave or single kiss, respecting their comfort level
5. Business acquaintance: A handshake, unless they initiate la bise

Remember, these are general guidelines. Always be attentive to the other person's cues and regional customs.